So what was the lie?

A little bit ago I posted the following five statements, with one of them being a lie, for folks to guess at:

1. I’ve been on national television twice
2. I’ve been ticketed by a NJ state patrolman because I was furry
3. I’ve been blessed by Pope John Paul II
4. I’ve met with a chairman of the joint chiefs of staff and after was part of a press photo-op with him
5. I touchtype at 85 wpm on a daily basis

The lie is #5. I was afraid it would be obvious because it was the simplest of the bunch. Big points go to scs_11 for being the one to remember watching me type. Its a credit to him because he’s only seen me a hand-full of days over the course of several years.

Anyway, the details:

#1 – I was hoping this would snag folks as it is the exact same statement that shaterri posted. (He’s who I copied the meme from.) The statement is true, however. Both times I appeared were as a member of my college marching band of all things. We were part of the Presidential Inaugural parade as well as receiving national coverage for earning the Sudler trophy. In both cases I think the coverage was on CNN.

#2 – This got a LOT of folks. And it is a rather indirect causality. While in PA there were two “furry” tags I allowed myself. First, my car had a tiger themed license plate. Second, I kept a tiger-tail hanging from my rear-view mirror. Exxon gave those tails out for this in the late 80’s. If you had one on your mirror, you got a discount on your gas. It was a great idea for marketing, but was dropped when Exxon figured out that in most states it is illegal to obstruct the vision of the driver. A NJ state patrolman, who pulled me for speeding, instead cited me for my tail. (Less points, less fine.) So yes, I was ticketed for being furry.

Due to a paperwork error, a warrant for my arrest was issued for non-payment of this ticket. I sorted the error out after proving I had paid the right county. I probably should have stated this as “a warrant for my arrest was issued by the state of NJ because I was a furry.”

#3 – I attended the midnight Christmas mass in Rome in the early 90s. I also stood in the square for the blessing of the crowd the next day. So technically I’ve been blessed by him at least twice. I don’t know if I was nailed by any of his drive-by blessings in the pope-mobile or in the US.

#4 – While going to school over on a Navy base in Naples, Italy, I was still a boy scout. I was an eagle scout at that point and just shy of aging out. I helped run the meetings and generally kept an eye on the younger kids. The boy scouts, being attached to a military organization, duly reported their status annually up the chain of command. I was selected to represent our region and was flown up to Brussels to report to the NATO headquarters of our actions. There were about a half dozen reps, and we showed up and read our reports to Gen. Shalikasvili. There was a press-photo op for the Stars and Stripes newspaper and we got to do the tour-thing around Brussels.

Gen Shali was later promoted to chairman of the joint chiefs of staff. Hence me saying I made my report to “a chairman” and not “the chairman.” At the time he was merely the Supreme Allied Commander Europe for NATO.

#5 – This is false. I cannot touch-type at speed. Also, I do not touch-type properly. (I do not use home row.) I am, quite simple, a music and telvision student who ended running a lot of very big and very expensive computers. And while I can type fast, I do make occasional glances at the keyboard to reset my hands.

3 Responses to “So what was the lie?”

  1. scs_11 says:

    *does victory dance*

    Seriously, I almost went with #2. And your number 1 reminded me that I’d done the same (in somewhat similar circumtances, as it turned out), and that misled a lot of folks on mine.

  2. tommicat says:

    *blinks* You went to school in Italy? Cool! 🙂

  3. cuprohastes says:

    I knew, but I was around when you started asking questions which tipped me off…

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